I've been thinking about rule books today, viz sex and the church.
There's only two books: The Church's Rules and Not the Church's Rules, although the latter comes in several various, often unique editions. Many people outside the Church use their favorite version of the Not the Church's Rules. And I'm ok with that: I don't expect people who are playing Baseball to follow the rules of College Football. I don't expect NASCAR to follow the rules of Lawn Darts, and I don't expect people to play Pinochle following the rules of Spit and Malice. People outside the Church are not expected to follow The Church's Rules. But inside the Church now...
My journey began with a jettisoning of The Church's Rules and the discovery of Not the Church's Rules in a college youth group at a retreat center in upstate New York, in the winter of 1982-1983. Prior to that time, I'd worked really hard at using the same rule book everyone used for ever. From that point on, I tried to play by Not the Church's Rules while staying inside the Church in various ways until, late in 1988 or so. Things were very odd., let me tell you. You can't play golf without the right set of rules. Even croquet is not close enough to golf to let you play the same game.
So I decided the problem was I was using Not the Church's Rules inside the Church: I left the Church. Cuz Not the Church's Rules let me be me. And I was having fun. I was kinda ok, for nearly ten years. But oddly, whilst having fun, something was missing.
So, for a brief time, I tried again to play Not the Church's Rules inside the church... but then I decided I actually wasn't in the church since everyone was playing by Not the Church's Rules in sex, in theology, in Bible, in economic culture... didn't matter.
So I went and joined the Church.
But I still tried to play Not the Church's Rules.
And... Still didn't work.
So I left the Church again.
This cycle continued, unabated, until rather recently in Salvation History. I decided that maybe - just maybe - I needed to try the one thing I'd not tried at all: Being in the Church and playing by The Church's Rules.
At no point in here did I think I needed to make the Church jettison her Rule Book: but I tried pretty much every version of not-following that book I could come up with. I finally decided that getting rid of one part of the Rule Book made all the other parts of the same book (Fiscal, Moral, Theological, Sacramental) as weak as possible, until it was easy to tear them out too.
When you're left with the Church's Empty Binder of Nothingness, oddly, you don't have Church any more either.
This is why hearing folks trying to force the Church play by Not the Church's Rule Book makes me really, really nervous, annoyed, sometimes angry. Then I remember the Church has stood up to people who were trying to kill her over that Rule Book for two millennia. So I'm ok with waiting this round out.
She always wins.